


Important Moments with You

by Georgie_Likes_Toast



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Backupsmore University (Gravity Falls), Blood, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Ford Pines, Parallel Fiddleford H. McGucket, Recovering Fiddleford H. McGucket, Snapshots, Tumblr Prompt, also I refuse to change how I spelled Emma's name soooo, fiddauthor - Freeform, i have no clue if this is actually angst, just a bit and it's not graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:20:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26578216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Georgie_Likes_Toast/pseuds/Georgie_Likes_Toast
Summary: Request: "I love you, I love you, I love you" but make it angstLittle moments when Ford is deeply and bitter-sweetly  in love with his best friend, Fiddleford McGucket. Small moments from Ford's life following him from College to post Weirdmageddon.
Relationships: Emma-May Dixion & Ford Pines, Emma-May Dixon & Fiddleford H. McGucket & Ford Pines, Emma-May Dixon/Fiddleford H. McGucket, Fiddleford H. McGucket/Ford Pines, Ford Pines & Mabel Pines, Ford Pines & Stan Pines, Tate McGucket & Ford Pines
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	Important Moments with You

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue how to format this.  
> Prompt can be found here: https://orikeepitasecret.tumblr.com/post/629860021329625088/so-i-have-no-idea-how-ive-managed-to-reach-651

“I love you.” Ford whispers one night, when he and Fidds had drunk far too much. Fidds is sprawled across his lap. He was pretty sure Fiddleford was asleep, the only reason he said it, but there’s hands around his neck, lips crashing against his own, and it leaves Ford breathless.

“I love you too.” Fiddleford murmurs once he pulls away and promptly falls asleep for real.

* * *

“I love you.” Ford whispers, watching Fidds’s rusty old truck start and pull away from Backupsmore University for the last time, taking Fidds away to his future and far away from Ford. They had already decided to go their separate ways as just friends. Ford wonders for a second if he should of foughten to keep Fiddleford a more permanent fixture in his life. The way Fidds’s face had fallen for just a second made him think, now, that he should have. It was too late though. Fiddleford was on his way home to Tennessee and Ford was crossing the country to study anomalies in Oregon. He slips into his own car and turns out of the parking lot he considers following Fidds, but he swallows back his tears and turns right.  _ Ad astra per aspera!  _ He thinks but it feels hollow. 15 minutes later, he has to pull over to cry. 

* * *

_ But I love you _ , Ford thinks as he holds Fiddleford’s wedding invitation in his hands. There’s a note asking to call him when he receives so he does. 

“Ford! It’s so good to hear from you! It’s been to long!” Fidds says brightly when he answers and has been. Ford thinks that the last time they talked had been both left Backupsmore.

“Indeed,” Ford says. “What did you need to talk to me about, buddy? You said it was urgent.” 

“Oh, right to the point as ever, Stanford.” Fidds replies and Ford wonders if Fidds is dying as much as he is. “Well then, I was hoping you would be my best man! Say you will, Ford, please?”

“I would be honored, Fiddleford.” Ford says and scrubs away the tears trickling his face. Fiddleford keeps him on the line until there’s a crash in the kitchen and Ford begs off to investigate (it’s those damn gnomes again). Fiddleford wrangles a promise out of him to keep in better touch. He doubts he’ll keep it. 

* * *

_ I still love you _ Ford thinks as he stands beside Fiddleford and watches Emma Mae walk down the aisle. It’s been burning the back of his throat since he arrived, but his time with Fiddleford had passed and if Fiddleford even wanted to hear him say it he hadn’t given Ford any inclination. That didn’t make it hurt any less. 

“You couldn’t ask for a better person to spend your life.” Ford tells Emma Mae in his speech. And it’s true. Fiddleford smiles at him, that special smile that even now is just his and it says _I love you too_. 

* * *

“His name’s Tater Cerium.” Fiddleford tells him proudly and Ford carefully accepts the sleeping baby from him. 

“Oh.” Ford murmurs. He had once offhandedly told Fiddleford that Cerium was his favorite element. Fiddleford looks mighty pleased with himself when Ford looks at him with recognition and tears in his eyes. He glances away, down to the baby in his arms. The one that Fidds had named after his favorite element. 

“We were hoping you would be his godfather.” Emma Mae says and Ford has to scrub the tears off his face. 

“I would be delighted.” Ford says after a long pause. The McGuckets both smile and Ford bounces the baby in his arms, just like he used to bounce Sherman’s baby. 

“I love you.” He whispers to Tater, tells him like he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And he is.

* * *

He comes back from the store (from the next town over that was larger) with Fiddleford’s banjo strings and microchips, and other necessary provisions, only to find that Fidds had set about cleaning up his house. Fidds grins when he sees him.

“Yer back earlier than I was expectin’, Stanford.” Fiddleford tells him, his eyes gleaming. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” Ford tells him and places the grocery bags he’s carrying on the newly clean counters, suddenly embarrassed that he hadn’t thought to clean up before his friend arrived. 

“I wanted to.” Fidds tells him and smiles Ford’s smile and any embarrassment Ford feels melts away. He heads back outside to collect the rest of his groceries thinking _I love you, I love you, I love you_. 

It’s nice to be sharing a living space with somebody again, especially when that person is Fiddleford.

* * *

“Why not publish now? Settle down somewhere with a nice girl and start a family?” Fidds asks, his eyes still trained on the stars. Ford doesn’t respond, not until Fiddleford turns and looks at him. 

“You were the only one for me, Fidds.” Ford whispers, and he knows Fiddleford heard him. He clears his throat. “Besides, once Gravity Falls becomes mainstream knowledge surely a bunch of other scientists will move out here and one of them could discover the Unifying Theory of Weirdness instead of me and all my work will have been for nothing.”

They’re quiet for a long while, like they used to be in college while talking about plans for the future. Plans that had more thoroughly included them together. 

“F, if I had asked you to go with me, would you have?” Ford finally asks. It’s a question that has been nagging at him for years. He hopes Fidds will say “no”, so he can have some closure and move on, even if he’ll never love romantically again. But Fiddleford doesn’t say no. He doesn't say yes either but they both know that's what his answer is. Ford's heart breaks all over again. Fiddleford had wanted him to ask him to come and he had been to much of a coward to make the request. It was far too late now, far, far to late. 

“Oh Stanford…” Fiddleford whispers and pulls Ford into a tight hug. Ford doesn’t cry, but it’s a close thing.

* * *

“I love you.” Ford whispers and presses his forehead against the door. He knows it doesn’t matter, that once again it’s too little, too late, and F is gone again. This time for good. The one good thing that's come out of Stan ruining his project and Ford had ruined it himself. 

He pushes the door open. The room’s barren, without all of Fiddleford’s pet projects and knick knacks. He collapses on the bed, that’s been carefully made up, as if Fiddleford would be here any minute to go to sleep but he won’t be. Ford curls against Fidds’s pillow and cries. He hadn’t felt so alone since the night Stanley had been kicked out. It’s only the knowledge that he survived Stanley’s betrayal that allows him to survive Fidds’s abandonment. Still, he doesn’t do anything but mope for three days and only stops because he’s too hungry to lie in bed anymore. It’s another two weeks before he returns to the portal, but only after Fidds’s room is converted back into a thinking parlor. The thought crosses his mind, when he returns to work, if this was how Stanley felt when Ford refused to help him. The thought crushes him. He doesn't get any proper work done that day, but Bill does. 

* * *

Fiddleford was right, Ford thinks and thinks and thinks. It’s the only thing he thinks curled up in the bed of the bunker. He can’t remember the reason he came back here, not after seeing Fiddleford’s abandoned laptop and lab coat. They hadn’t come back her after Shif- Experiment #210 had attacked Fiddleford. He clears the dust off the laptop and opens it. An eight letter password, huh? He takes a couple guesses and is surprised to find the password is Stanford. Of course F had always been the sentimental sort and Ford was his first love. 

He takes a deep breath and starts to plan. Maybe he can make up with Fidds, convince him to quit this Society of the Blind Eye stuff, once he’s defeated Bill. For now, the future of the world is more important than Fiddleford, even if he was the love of his life. 

* * *

Ford gets up from where he landed after coming up on the other side of the portal. He’s not sure he didn’t pass out when he hit, though no time feels like it passed. He turns desperately hoping that the Portal will still be there, still be open so he can find a way to go back through and return home. Clean up the mess he and Stan just made. 

It’s not there.

“No…”Ford whispers horrified.

“Stanley?”

There’s no answer.

“Fiddleford?” 

There’s still no answer, not that Ford should expect one. 

He’s not aware that he’s screaming, begging for Fiddleford or Stanley or anyone to come for him, until he senses the eyes, thousands and thousands of eyes boring into him. Is this what Fiddleford had experienced when he briefly went through? Ford shivers and runs.

* * *

Ford had a ritual at this point for when he was preparing to sleep, one that wasn’t dissimilar to the one he had in his home dimension. He carefully pulled two pictures out of his wearing wallet. One was of him and Fiddleford from college. They were both leaning against Ford’s bed, with Ford almost in Fidds’s lap and F kissing his cheek. It was one of Ford’s favorite pictures that they had taken together and he was glad he had slipped it in his wallet before Stan arrived. The second was an already aging photo of Stan and him on the Stan o’ War. The same one he had been carrying since college.

“I love you.” Ford would whisper and tuck them back away in his wallet. Those two were what gave him the strength to keep going, even though he doubted he would ever see you again. 

* * *

Ford feels awful, feels like he's dying. He probably is, considering the amount of blood. He wonders vaguely if it wouldn't be for the best. The thought fizzles out quickly. If he dies here, he'll never stop Bill, never go home, or see Lee and Fidds again. That gives him new strength and slowly pulls himself to at least try to survive this. 

* * *

“I don’t wanna go.” Ford admits softly. The Fiddleford of this dimension, the one that belongs in this better world unlike Ford, tusks softly and pulls Ford into a tight hug. It’s such a Fiddleford move, and Ford feels a familiar swell of affection for the man rise up his chest. 

“I love you.” He murmurs against his shoulder. And it’s true: he loves him because he loves every Fiddleford that he’s encountered, for their own merits and because they reminded him so much of his own lost love.

“Did you ever tell him that?” This Fiddleford asks. Ford nods against his shoulder. Fidds sighs. 

“Wasn’t the best at showing it though…” Ford sobs. Fidds squeezes him and holds him until the tears stop. 

“Well go defeat Bill and then go home. Make it up to him. If he’s as much like me as you think he is… he’ll forgive you. I promise.” Fiddleford tells him. Ford grabs onto his words and clings to them. Fiddleford thinks he can defeat Bill and live. Defeat Bill and return home to Fiddleford who might possibly, insanely still love him enough to give him the second chance. Ford smiles faintly at the thought and musters the gun this Fiddleford had helped him construct, that if they’re right will be able to end Bill Cipher once and for all. 

He doesn’t look back as he steps through the portal. For the first time in a long time, he’s looked ahead. 

* * *

“Stanley, do you know what became of my research assistant? His name is Fiddleford McGucket.” Ford asks evenly, one evening over dinner. Stan and his nibilings exchange looks. 

“No.” Stan tells him and even after forty years, his tell when lying to Ford is the same. It might have been slightly amusing if it hadn’t been so vexing. 

“Stanley, I have a right to know.” Ford says in a raised voice, the _I know you know_ hangs heavy in the air without him saying it. 

“He doesn’t want anything to do with you.” Stan retorts, finally. “I would know.”

Ford’s face falls despite attempts to school it and he quickly excuses himself from the table. If Fiddleford doesn’t want anything to do with him, he’ll respect that for now. He waited thirty years what was a another couple of months. Surely it couldn’t take too long to at least dispose of the rift the Portal created? Bill himself might take more time but he could be excused for wanting to apologize to Fidds after the immediate threat is handled right? 

* * *

Ford’s startled awake night to find Mable sitting on the couch by his feet. 

“Are you awake, Grunkle Ford?” She whispers. 

“Yes, dear.” Ford replies and sits up. “Is something the matter?” 

“No. Well, kind of? It’s about Mr. McGucket.” Mable replies.

Ford sits up and flicks on the nearby lamp. He slips on his glasses and stares at his great niece expectedly.

“I think he doesn’t remember you. He founded this crazy cult that erased people’s memories when they saw weird things around here and he was using it on himself. He used it so much he couldn’t remember anything before 1982.” Mable says in a hushed voice, glancing anxiously over her shoulder occasionally.

“I see.” Ford says,

“He’s getting better! Dipper thought he might have been the Author! So we helped him get his memories back and he’s remembering more things! I don’t know if he remembers you yet though…” Mable says. 

“Well that’s… good. It was very nice of your brother and you to help him. Thank you.”

“You really care about him, huh, Grunkle Ford?”

“Yes, he was…” my ex-boyfriend that I am still deeply in love with, even after all this time “my best friend until we had our falling out. I want to make amends with him, or at very least apologize.” 

“Well… he lives at the dump right now, if you ever wanna try and slip out to visit him.” Mable tells him. There’s a creek and a muffled groan from somewhere in the house that indicates that Stan is awake for some reason. “I have to go. Don’t tell Grunkle Stan or Dipper I told you, please? They didn’t want you to know.” 

Without waiting for a reply, Mable scurries off, carrying a cup of water. Ford sighgs as he watches her go and flicks off the lamp, leaving himself surrounded by the dark. 

“Oh, Fiddleford…” He whispers. He doesn’t get back to sleep that night. 

* * *

Stan seems to know that Ford knows about McGucket now and seems intent on keeping him from “visiting”, and no matter when Ford tries to leave or his best intentions to not allow Stan to draw him into a fight, he never manages to leave.

“Why is it so important that you go see him now? Weren’t you just spouting off about how dangerous it is to leave the Shack because of this Bill guy?” Stan asks when he catches Ford trying to leave his own house at two a’clock in the morning. 

“I-”  _ I love him _ is on the tip of his tongue, but Ford can’t bring himself to say it. He is unsure of how much time has changed here in the last three decades or how Stan would react. 

“I hurt Fiddleford a lot with my actions thirty years ago. I want him to at least now I regret it.” 

Stan looks heartbroken for just a millisecond, but before Ford can try to process it, it’s gone, replaced by the quiet rage Stanley leverages against him when he doesn’t want the kids to know they’re fighting again. Ford doesn’t make it out of the house that night, and he doesn’t attempt going to see Fiddleford again.

* * *

“Fiddleford… I--I haven't seen you since we parted ways. You must hate me.” Ford murmurs to his friend once he finally sees him again. It’s hard to believe that this is his Fiddleford, even when he knew he’d been living out of the dump.

Fiddleford shakes his head and smiles, smiles that brilliant smile and Ford feels himself falling head over heels all over again. “I've tried forgettin'. Maybe I should try forgiving. Come here, old friend.”

Fiddleford pulls Ford into a tight hug. Ford can’t remember the last time he and Fiddleford had hugged (maybe upon his arrival in Gravity Falls?) or how good it felt. Tears sprung to his eyes and squeezed Fidds. The moment’s perfect, even if it takes place in Bill’s castle at the end of the world.

“Hey, good to see you too, bro. Now let's get outta here, huh?” Stan interrupts and the moment’s over.

* * *

Watching Fiddleford and the others is the most horrific thing he has ever seen. That’s his Fiddleford Bill’s hurting and it’s all Ford’s fault. In less than an hour, it shifted down to second. Nothing will ever haunt him as much as erasing Stan’s mind.

* * *

“I’m going up to the Arctic to investigate some anomalous reading I’ve been getting.” Ford tells his old friend. The “Come with me” doesn’t cross his lips. Not because he doesn’t want to ask, but him and Fiddleford needed time to recover from the last 30 years, from the things Ford had caused. And even if Fiddleford had any interest in studying anomalies, almost thirty of being homeless hadn’t been good for his health and it would be irresponsible to drag F into the Arctic. Fiddleford studied him from a long moment and set his glass of sweet down on his side table. 

“You should ask Stanley to go with you.” Fidds says evenly. 

“I will.” Ford promises.

“Good.”

Fiddleford doesn’t pick up his sweet tea again. Instead he gets up and collects his banjo from the other side of the room. Ford is breath taken to realize that it was the same one he had given him for their first anniversary so many years ago.

Fiddleford plays for hours and Ford watches silently, breath taken. Finally, long after the sun’s gone down, Tate troops into the room and tells Fiddleford he ought to go to bed. 

“I’ll miss you.” Fiddleford says, in the same tone of voice he had used when they had parted ways at Backupsmore, at the door.

“I know. I’ll miss you too. But I’ll be back next summer.” Ford promises. F still seems upset, and without thinking, Ford leans down to kiss his cheek. He flushes before the actions even over and fleas through the door.

“Next summer, Stanford!” Fidds yells after him.

* * *

They of course see each other quite a few times again before Ford and Stan leave, but the promise shifted into something more with the kiss. It was a promise to try again, next summer. 

* * *

Ford had barely made his way back onto solid ground before somebody had flung themselves onto him. Stan had to steady him to keep him from falling, but it was worth it. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Fiddleford whispers to him.

“I love you too.” Ford replies and it is one of the best moments of his life, especially when Stan and his nibilings join their hug. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a request in the comments or in at my tumblr (https://orikeepitasecret.tumblr.com/)


End file.
